tea dreams and growth spurts
by fiftyways
Summary: Hitsugaya has tea and Oreos in Hueco Mundo with Gin Ichimaru. DO READ AND REVIEW! :) One-shot.


disclaimer: Not mine, I'm afraid. the bleach universe belongs to kubo-sensei. sigh. i don't make any money from it.

A/N: This has been niggling in my mind for quite a while. Writer's block sucks. Sorry if it's bad. Awful migraine going on. Do review! Constructive criticisms only, NO FECKING FLAMERS. Enjoy! :)

Hitsugaya dreamt he was having tea with Ichimaru.

"Ah, Hitsu-taichou... milk wit' your tea? It'll make ya grow taawwller.. ya know, milk and them calcium properties.." Ichimaru said, holding up a little stripy blue jug and gesturing it towards him.

_Tempting. But I like my milk cold. With Oreos _(Matsumoto had brought those devil snacks from her last Karakura visit)_. And brownies. And jellybeans. _

Hitsugaya then realized that he'd spoken his thoughts out loud.

"Ah, Hitsu-taichou... Oreos, eh..? How very cuuuuute!" Ichimaru drawled. "How cuuuuuuuuuuute! So amusingly cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute..!" He said, and hugged the milk jug to his chest.

Hitsugaya could only stare at his former colleague. He felt his face grow hotter. Hitsugaya desperately drew power from his reiatsu, from Hyorin-maru, from anything that would help him cool down.

_And why is Ichimaru behaving so weirdly?_

"So, Shiro-taichou, milk wit' ya tea?" Ichimaru beamed at him, flashing that wide villain-y smile that somehow Matsumoto had found charming.

Hitsugaya tried his very best not to shrink away from the silver-haired, jug-clutching smiling man. Oops, his inner scaredy kid soul had reared up. Hitsugaya batted it away.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, Ichimaru. Do whatever you want. Put milk in my tea. Buy Oreos for me. Tell me I'm cute. Whatever." Hitsugaya sighed finally, holding out his teacup to Ichimaru.

"That's the way, Toushirou...can I call ya Shiro-chan, like Momo-chan? Toushirou-taichou's too long-"

"No," Hitsugaya mumbled defeatedly.

Ichimaru seemed not to hear him as he splashed a little milk into Hitsugaya's cup.

"-And of course I bought Oreos! I thought we could share them, ya know, like best friends, Captain Aizen likes them too- just a minute-" Ichimaru continued his chatter, feeling around in his voluminous white robes.

"-aha. There ya are!" Ichimaru produced a little blue packet of Mini Oreos from his Arrancar Army Commander coat pocket.

Ichimaru tore the packet open in a single move ("Ooh, look, Shiro-chan, there's Ziploc! Very ingenious, these humans. Though I don't know why there's Ziploc on a packet of Oreos. One could finish a packet of these in one seating, so I really don't see the reason for longer storage...they're so cute you can't help but eat them, just like ya, Shiro-chan. Brrr, it's so cold all of a sudden, no?"). He peered into the open bag of biscuits and selected one that looked the most perfect. He offered the baggie to Hitsugaya, who reached in and took a fistful of the little black coin-like biscuits.

Ichimaru tilted his head towards Hitsugaya. "Hungry, aren't we? Nevermind, nevermind, Shiro-chan, I'll just stea- uh, buy more from Nnoitora-san." Ichimaru leaned in, as if to share a secret. "Now, Shiro-taichou, I'm going to share a secret with ya. Promise me ya won't tell anyone."

Hitsugaya blinked bewilderedly. _Why is Ichimaru acting like that Eleventh division's fifth seat, what's his name, that pretty girly-man- ha- YUMICHIKA BLOODY AYASEGAWA?!_

"Promise me!" Ichimaru said insistently.

"Yeah, yeah, you bloody irritating git!" Hitsugaya burst. "It's not like I even wanted to know about it in the first place," he muttered.

"I heard that. Actually, taichou, you do want ter know 'bout it, really, deep down in yer icy kid heart. Brrr, it IS getting rather cold here. Anyway, it's jus' that Nnoitora-san keeps Oreos and those sour lollies in huge crates. He hides it under his bed, there's a li'l trapdoor there and there's that basement where he keeps those li'l goodies," Ichimaru smirked at him, now holding an empty Oreo packet.

Ichimaru seemed to suddenly realize that he had an empty Oreo packet in his long-fingered hand. He held it up to his ear, and gave it a little shake.

"Ah, cutie-taichou, ya finished it all up!" Ichimaru pouted. "Nevermind, nevermind, Shiro-chan. Ya can have 'em all. Eating's very important for child growth and height development, ya know." He peered at Hitsugaya. "See, yer a little bit tawwwwller now, chan-chan. Stand up, whitey-chan. I wanna see how tawwwl yer now," Ichimaru rubbed his hands with glee.

Hitsugaya did so. Suddenly, as he stood up, he felt that his shinigami uniform was strangely...tight. He could feel the breeze of the Hueco Mundo brushing his shins and ankles (they were in the middle of the Hueco Mundo desert with a little white table and matching chairs, drinking tea and eating Oreos). Why is he even feeling wind against his legs? His haori and uniform should have covered them. Hitsugaya looked down.

Everything... was too small for him. Hitsugaya's eyes widened with shock.

He looked up and found Ichimaru right in front of him. And realized that his head was the same level as Ichimaru's nose.

Good gods above, he had _grown. _

He drank tea and ate Oreos and _grew._

Gin Ichimaru's wide smirk was the last thing Hitsugaya saw as he woke up with a start.

Hitsugaya's eyes flew open. He had the most wonderful dream ever, albeit the Ichimaru appearance. He grew.

Wait. Why did the shoulders of his yukata feel too snug. It was constricting his shoulder movements so much that it was uncomfortable_. _And the hem of his yukata skimmed his thighs...

_WAITWAITWAITWAIT_

Thoughts raced through Hitsugaya's mind.

_It's only a dream a dream a dream good gods could it... be?_

He told himself this as he shunpo'd his way to the bathroom. And stopped promptly in front of the bathroom mirror.

Slowly he opened his eyes, scared to see his reflection.

The chubby cheeks were gone. In place was chiseled cheekbones that would've made Ayasegawa cry in envy. His eyes looked more greener, if that was possible. The pointy chin was still there though. All in all, Hitsugaya thought he aged rather well.

_I don't look half-bad._

Silver-white stubble smattered on his cheeks and chin.

Hitsugaya had _stubble._

He grabbed his towel and changed out of his tiny yukata, walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom to find clothes that could fit him. Along the way he glanced at the wall clock- four-thirty in the morning.

It was four-thirty a.m and on a normal day, it would need both coffee and tea and a long cold shower just enough for him to function. And he would still be cranky when he reached his office.

But not today. Today is the starting of a good day, Hitsugaya could tell. Obviously, he grew! Hitsugaya decided to have a cup of tea (with milk, of course) and a packet of Oreos for breakfast to celebrate his growth spurt.

He couldn't wait to see Matsumoto's reaction. No more short jokes, no more sake bottles resting on his head, no more Ukitake candy packages... oh yeah, no more of Matsumoto's boobs thrusting in his face. Thank all the gods for that. Thank Ichimaru. Thank all weird dreams.

That thought got Hitsugaya whistling all the way to the loo to shower.

Thanks for reading! Do review! :)


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